24 days 11 hours 24 minutes 30 seconds until I graduate college.
I have never had all the feelings like I do right now.
Excited to be done with college.
Anxious for May 24th to come so I can walk across a stage and get a diploma I have worked so hard for these last four years.
Sad because I'll have to leave friends that I have grown close with the last four years.
Happy because I have a summer ahead of me full of things I love.
Scared out of my mind because I don't know what is happening beyond the summer.
Worried I'm not ready for real life.
Nervous that I will be inadequate for whatever job I do end up at.
Scared of all the very real changes that will soon be taking place.
I know I am not the only one feeling all of these things. As my very wise sister said, "Everyone is scared whether they know what they are doing with their life or not. Entering the real world is scary."
And she's right, it is scary.
24 days 11 hours 10 minutes 35 seconds until I gradate college.
Change is scary, but the thing about change is that it's necessary. If we were to stay in one place our entire lives, we would never move on to anything better. We would never be able to experience everything that God has planned for us. I need to be reminded of that just as much as anyone. Change and I are not the greatest of friends and I'm never very welcoming when it inevitably comes to me. But I'm about to go through the biggest change I have experienced thus far in my life.
I've learned something about change. God is there with me through it all. He is preparing me for what is coming after the change. My sister also reminded me that even though I may not feel it or see it, God has been working on me, on my heart, to prepare me for what's coming even though I don't know what that is yet. Meghan told me that whatever I do it'll be something that God has planned for me, something He has prepared me for, and that I'll rock it. She's encouraging and that was nice to hear, but the only reason I'll rock the job is because I have Christ and He will have prepared me for whatever work I do.
One of my favorite sayings is "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." I've been called to do something with my life. Whatever it is He is already equipping me for that something. I don't know what it is. I don't see the big picture, but He does.
24 days 10 hours 54 minutes 32 seconds until I graduate college.
Graduation is closer still.
God's love and grace is even closer.
I received a phone call from Meghan. It's been forever since we've really talked. We talked about all the things I'm feeling. She encouraged me and loved me while I worried about everything. She reassured me that while entering real life is scary, I have a family, friends, and a God who loves me. Just what I needed to hear.
I got an email from Holly, my younger sister. It was titled "Job experience...someday."
1. Holly never emails me.
2. It was probably one of the greatest emails I have ever received.
Just like the phone call I got from Meghan came at a time when I most needed it, this email from Holly came at a time I most needed it.
Holly's status says, "I LOVE getting sister phone calls. They just uplift your spirit." And it's true.
God shows grace in a number of ways, and tonight I believe me showed me grace through my sisters. He showed me that even when I'm feeling all the feelings, I don't have to feel them alone. He showed me that my sisters are always there for me. He showed the love my sisters have for me. He showed me the grace they gave me through my craziness. What wonderful examples of how Christ is. Through life's craziness, Christ still chooses to show love and give grace. There's nothing greater than that.
24 days 10 hours 44 minutes 13 seconds until I graduate college.
I'm still nervous about things to come because it's unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what's going to happen. However, it is something I'm working on giving up to the Ultimate Planner. I still have lots of feelings, but Christ takes care of those. He takes care of me.
And for that...I am grateful.
