All the Feelings.

24 days 11 hours 24 minutes 30 seconds until I graduate college.

I have never had all the feelings like I do right now.
Excited to be done with college.
Anxious for May 24th to come so I can walk across a stage and get a diploma I have worked so hard for these last four years.
Sad because I'll have to leave friends that I have grown close with the last four years.
Happy because I have a summer ahead of me full of things I love.
Scared out of my mind because I don't know what is happening beyond the summer.
Worried I'm not ready for real life.
Nervous that I will be inadequate for whatever job I do end up at.

Scared of all the very real changes that will soon be taking place.

I know I am not the only one feeling all of these things. As my very wise sister said, "Everyone is scared whether they know what they are doing with their life or not. Entering the real world is scary."

And she's right, it is scary.

24 days 11 hours 10 minutes 35 seconds until I gradate college.

Change is scary, but the thing about change is that it's necessary. If we were to stay in one place our entire lives, we would never move on to anything better. We would never be able to experience everything that God has planned for us. I need to be reminded of that just as much as anyone. Change and I are not the greatest of friends and I'm never very welcoming when it inevitably comes to me. But I'm about to go through the biggest change I have experienced thus far in my life.

I've learned something about change. God is there with me through it all. He is preparing me for what is coming after the change. My sister also reminded me that even though I may not feel it or see it, God has been working on me, on my heart, to prepare me for what's coming even though I don't know what that is yet. Meghan told me that whatever I do it'll be something that God has planned for me, something He has prepared me for, and that I'll rock it. She's encouraging and that was nice to hear, but the only reason I'll rock the job is because I have Christ and He will have prepared me for whatever work I do.

One of my favorite sayings is "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." I've been called to do something with my life. Whatever it is He is already equipping me for that something. I don't know what it is. I don't see the big picture, but He does.

24 days 10 hours 54 minutes 32 seconds until I graduate college.

Graduation is closer still.
God's love and grace is even closer.

I received a phone call from Meghan. It's been forever since we've really talked. We talked about all the things I'm feeling. She encouraged me and loved me while I worried about everything. She reassured me that while entering real life is scary, I have a family, friends, and a God who loves me. Just what I needed to hear.

I got an email from Holly, my younger sister. It was titled "Job experience...someday."
1. Holly never emails me.
2. It was probably one of the greatest emails I have ever received.
Just like the phone call I got from Meghan came at a time when I most needed it, this email from Holly came at a time I most needed it.
Holly's status says, "I LOVE getting sister phone calls. They just uplift your spirit." And it's true.

God shows grace in a number of ways, and tonight I believe me showed me grace through my sisters. He showed me that even when I'm feeling all the feelings, I don't have to feel them alone. He showed me that my sisters are always there for me. He showed the love my sisters have for me. He showed me the grace they gave me through my craziness. What wonderful examples of how Christ is. Through life's craziness, Christ still chooses to show love and give grace. There's nothing greater than that.

24 days 10 hours 44 minutes 13 seconds until I graduate college.

I'm still nervous about things to come because it's unknown. I like to plan. I like to know what's going to happen. However, it is something I'm working on giving up to the Ultimate Planner. I still have lots of feelings, but Christ takes care of those. He takes care of me.

And for that...I am grateful.

2014: The Year of Grace

These past few days I have been greatly reminded of how wonderful the people in my life are. The friendships I have made, the opportunities I have been given, and the love that I have been shown blows my mind a little. Actually, it blows my mind a lot. A whole.stinking.lot. I have had a number of people come in and out of my life these 21 years I have lived. Different seasons of my life have brought different people. Solomon says in Ecclesiastes that there is a time and a season for everything and I firmly believe that includes people as well.

I don't always realize the impact people have on me until I take a step back and reflect. I've come to realize that everyone I have had some kind of relationship with has impacted me, changed me. They may not know it, but it is most certainly true. Every moment with them mattered. Every moment meant something whether I realized it at the time or not. God has used the people in my life to grow me in ways I never thought possible. It just makes me remember that God sees the bigger picture while I only see a small portion of it. These people, my people, have impacted my life.

So, this all makes me think: If I have been impacted this much because of the people I have developed relationships with over the course of my life, how is it that I am impacting people? Above I said that every moment matters. Every moment means something. I don't believe that anything is insignificant. Something may seem small or insignificant to us, but it could mean the world to someone else.

Every moment matters.
If every moment matters then the way we treat people matters.
The way we live our life matters.
Every moment matters.

This blog is about grace, right? Grace has been on my mind a lot lately. I have always been taught that grace is a gift from God. And it most certainly is a gift. However, we do not deserve this gift. God chooses to give us grace in our lives because He loves us. He desires to have a relationship with us and one way I believe He shows that is by giving us grace. What blows my mind is that grace is not a one time gift. It's a gift that keeps on giving. God doesn't hold out on us. He is a good and loving Father.

I have some more wonderings. (I don't know if 'wonderings' is a word. It is now.)
If God continues to give us grace even after we mess up time and time again and we are to live like Christ, then how come we don't give that same grace to those around us? Nobody is perfect. I'm going to say that again:

Nobody is perfect.

If we are not perfect yet God still chooses to show us grace then why don't we show that grace to others?

My mind has been blown a lot tonight, but do you want to know what will blow other people's minds? Showing them grace. Especially when it's not deserved. They won't know what hit them. They won't understand why you gave them grace. I guarantee they will notice that something is different about you. 

As the new year has begun I have decided that I want 2014 to be the year of grace. I want 2014 to be the year of love. Sharing the grace and love of Christ will blow.people's.minds. 

I've been shown a great amount of grace in my life by God and by the people God has placed in my life. I want that grace to continue on to others. I want to be able to show that grace, to give that gift. 

Every moment matters. Let's remember that as we encounter people this year. 

It won't only impact them.

It'll impact you.

Strangely Dim.

Let's start out with some lyrics tonight.

♫I've got all these plans piled up sky high
A thousand dreams on hold
And I don't know why
I got a front row seat to the longest wait
And I just can't see past the things I pray today♫

There are two things in my life that seem to consume more of my thoughts than anything else: My future career and my future husband. While I don't think that these are necessarily bad things to think about, I fully believe that they way I think about them and how much I think about them can tear me down.

Let's start with my future career.
I'm a children's ministry major. For most people this means working in a church after I graduate as a children's minister. There is nothing wrong with this. I, too, thought that working in a church is what I would be doing for the rest of my life. However, that was the end of high school and the beginning of college. There has been so much that I have experienced and learned in the last four years. God has shown me that there is so much more to ministry than ministry inside of a church. God has given me new desires. With all this being said, I have no idea what I am going to do with my life. Sure, I have dreams. I even have plans. There are a number of things I could see myself doing and honestly loving my job. I could be an administrative assistant (I realize that is a secretary. I like that.). I could work for a camp doing administrative work or working out front with kids or youth. I could work for some non-profit organization that serves others. I could do so many things and be content with any of it. I honestly haven't worried too much lately about what I'll be doing. I know God with take care of me. He'll provide for me. I start getting nervous when I'm constantly asked what I'll be doing after I graduate. I feel like I have to have an answer and most of the time I don't. I just.don't.know.

And now, for the future husband.
This has been a struggle more than I want to admit. It feels like everyone I'm close to in my life has someone and that has been difficult to deal with at times. I always hear things like, "Don't worry! He's coming soon!" and "I just know it's going to happen for you. You just have to wait a little longer." These things are meant to comfort. But that's not always the case. They are said with good intentions...but that's not always how it feels. Part of what makes it hard is that they people who say things like that are all my age or right around my age, and they are the ones who already have someone in their life. Right now, there isn't much to say other than it's hard waiting, especially when that is what everyone is telling you to do.

♫But when I fix my eyes on all that you are
And every doubt I feel deep in my heart
Grows strangely dim
All my worries fade and fall to the ground
Cause when I seek your face and don't look around
Any place I'm in grow strangely dim♫

This song has meant a lot to me lately. It has been a reminder of where my focus needs to be, and not just in these two areas of  my life, but in every area.

As far as my future career is concerned, I may have lots of dreams and plans about what I want to do, but what I need to remember is that God is the Ultimate Planner. He knows what I will be doing and He'll present that opportunity before me. Like I said before, I could be happy and content doing a number of different things, but when  I fix my eyes on Him, He'll show me what it is I need to be doing at that moment in my life. I'm beginning to think that it's okay if I don't have an answer for people when they ask me what I'm doing with my life. God will provide and for now, that's all I need to know.

And my future husband. I've been pursuing the wrong things. I've been pursuing guys and who they are. I need to be pursuing Christ. I need to be pursuing who Christ is. My pursuit should be about Christ, nothing else. It is only through Christ that I have anything and everything in my life. I've learned that when I look to myself and to other things I lose focus and I start getting discouraged. I've been discouraged lately because I have taken my eyes off of the One who has never left my side. I stopped pursuing the One that I need most in my life.
I was talking with a woman tonight who I have come to love and respect and look up to as a believer. She was talking about how she waited and how hard it was. She told me many of the same things I have heard before about all this happening for me and just needing to wait. However, she said something else that I haven't heard a lot of people say to me...

"Lizzy, I know it's hard waiting. But it is so worth it. There is power in total submission to Him."

Those words impacted me more than what anyone else has ever said to me before. "There is power in total submission to Him." I need to submit my life to Christ. Not because I want the perfect job or the perfect husband, but because the power of Christ is greater than I can comprehend and with Christ, I will have joy in my life whether or not I get those things. I want nothing more than my life to glorify Christ. When I keep my eyes fixed on Him, I have no doubt that is what will happen. 

I want to end with this verse. 

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who take refuge in him."

Psalm 34:8

The Lord is good. He has shown me that again and again in my life. For me, that's all there is to it.

Fields of Grace.

So, this is me. I am a senior at Southwest Baptist University majoring in Children's Ministry, I am the president of an organization for ministry students who have a desire to disciple others and watch them grow, I work with a children's ministry in a town that is way under the poverty line where drugs are prominent and the kids want to be loved. I'm a typical middle child (although I'm mostly over it) with two sisters on either side of me and I come from a family that means more to me than almost anything else in my life. I have the best friends anyone could ask for...and I know lots of people say that, but in my case it's true. Even greater than all of these things, I am loved by the Creator of the universe. I am the child of a King. I have been washed by His precious blood so that I may forever be with Him. This is what has impacted my life more than anything.

I didn't know what to name my blog. I wasn't totally sure what I wanted my blog to be about. It was my friend Sean, one of my best friends, who came up with the title "Dancing with Grace." I said that I wanted this to be a blog about what Christ is teaching me, about the things that I go through that impact me as I am learning what it means to begin life after I graduate college in less than seven months. I also want this to be about loving others, showing God's love and grace through my actions. This was Sean's description of "Dancing with Grace":

"The whole double meaning of trying to get through the transition gracefully and trying to comprehend God's grace as well as show that grace to others...Sometimes life entails learning the steps and just doing it...In partnering, you have to follow. So, if you are dancing with grace, you are following God's lead."

Boom. I was sold. All of that is what I want my blog to be about. Learning, growing, dancing. All with and through Christ.

I decided that I am going to try and make every title of my blog posts be a song title. Tonight, it is Fields of Grace by Big Daddy Weave. My favorite lines from this song... 

♫There's a place that I lose myself within

There's a place where I find myself again

Dancin' with my Father God in fields of grace

There's a place where religion finally dies

There's a place that I lose my selfish pride

Dancin' with my Father God in fields of grace♫

I love this vision of dancing with my Father. I want nothing more than for Him to lead me. Learning His dance. I hope that you will learn His dance as well, because let me tell you, there is no better dance than when you get to dance with the Father.